Wistful Mothering

There is a lovely older woman who lives across the street from us. She is the matriarch of the family and her children and nieces are the trustee's to the family property we live on. She turns 60 today and we had her over for dinner on Sunday night. Nothing fancy, just some homemade pizza and beer while we watched the sunset over the Kihei peninsula. We talked a bit while the kids raced about trying to get our attention with antics and outbursts. She just separated from her 2nd husband of 17 years. He is Turkish and a whirling durvish by way of family lineage. (It is amazing to me how international this community is). Although she is deeply saddened by the separation, she continues to plan to return to Turkey where she will be teaching the whirling art to a group of Turkish women. My husband commented that he thought that the tradition was a men's tradition. She said yes it was and she was awaiting approval to do so in the fall of 2010. The evening ended with peaceful admiration of the sun setting and plans for the upcoming week.
I thought about it more during the last couple days. Of being single at age 60, traveling to teach a liberal art in a country such as Turkey. (Visions of the film Midnight Express hedge in my mind's eye).
I think of my relationship with my husband of 13 years. We will celebrate our anniversary in a week and this July it will be 18 years the we have been an "exclusive couple".
I think of being 40 and looking down the proverbial road to what may lie ahead. Many wise and wistful folks have cautioned against looking too far ahead and not appreciating the present moment. Right now we have a pre-teen in our midst and we are beginning to feel the grip loosen of what we can actually "control" in her life. She is ready to fly in so many ways, but just like the 40 or 60 year old, women today have so much to contend with. So many more choices to choose from.
I think that the archtypes of yesteryear are more evident today to me than say 10 or 20 years ago. I am in some ways, like Hera, the hearthkeeper. I love being home and cleaning and cooking, gardening and just keeping a home for my family that is peaceful and a retreat from the wide world. Some other mothers I know would never feel complete or challenged by being a homemaker. I find a spiritual art in homemaking that I could never has guessed would be my call. Family and friends who knew me as a teen would have never believed that this is what I am best and most fullfilled with. Many friends and family members are Athena's or Aphrodite's and I look to them for strength in other ways.
And so, today, my neighbor is 60 and her outlook on life reminds me of when I was 15. Motivated, youthful and making positive changes in her world, regardless of what others may think or say. I plan to continue to send my strongest intentions toward perservering as the homemaker, however unglamorous
a path it may appear.
I know in my heart that it is what I am best at, what I absolutely love to do and what will make the most positive impression upon our children & family.
I think of my daughter and her blossoming into young adulthood. How much I want to impart to her that changes happen fast and furious but no matter has fast she may travel forward in her thinking and doing, she can always rely on her feminine nature to reveal her truest self. That who she may be at 15 is not who she will remain (thank Goodness!) and that no one can quite tell what we are to become. Mostly our selves.